If Shaq takes lumps, it won't be from bumps

MOORESVILLE -- Shaquille O'Neal is on a losing streak. On his TV show, "Shaq Vs," he invades the turf of other athletes and he loses every time.

He lost to Albert Pujols in baseball, Ben Roethlisberger in football, Kerri Walsh and Misty May-Treanor in beach volleyball, Serena Williams in tennis, Oscar de la Hoya in boxing and the Boston Celtics in basketball.

The Celtics weren't part of "Shaq Vs." They were part of the NBA playoffs. O'Neal and his Cleveland Cavaliers lost anyway.

Yet there are athletes with longer losing streaks than Shaq's. Dale Earnhardt Jr. last won a Sprint Cup race June 15, 2008, in Michigan. That's a streak of 73 races and more than two years.

Maybe the reason Shaq came to Mooresville on Tuesday for the next "Shaq Vs" is because he thinks he finally found somebody he can beat.

Can you?

"I'm going to beat him," Shaq says. "In my mind anyway."

Shaq and Earnhardt will race from 5 to 7 p.m. Wednesday at Concord Speedway. Admission is free, but you are not free to bring glass bottles, cameras or cell phones. ABC will air the show during August, probably, and the network doesn't want fans to use picture-taking devices to divulge the results.

Shaq's car was prepared by Andy Hillenburg. On Tuesday, Shaq had yet to drive it. But he did get in and out.

"It took me 25 minutes to get in, and 25 to get out," says Shaq.

The widest driver I've ever seen is A.J. Foyt, with Jimmy Spencer so close they could be trading paint. But those guys weighed 290, max. Shaq is 7-foot-1 and 320 pounds. When he and Earnhardt stand next to each other at JR Motorsports, Earnhardt's head reaches Shaq's biceps. Last time I was at the shop, Earnhardt stood next to Danica Patrick. Her head reached his biceps.

Earnhardt and Shaq hung out at Earnhardt's place before they came to the shop. Asked what it is like to hang out with Shaq, Earnhardt says, "My neck is getting sore."

A large ABC film crew follows Shaq and Earnhardt through the shop, and any time the local media ventures too close to anybody famous they are herded back toward the door, not the close door but the faraway one. Man, think how tough ABC would be if the show had decent ratings.

Earnhardt says he and Shaq have yet to figure out a handicap system to make the race fair. Shaq will get the handicap.

Any other rules?

"No bumping," says Shaq.

Whoa. Shaq, you've been bumping, and getting bumped, since you stepped onto a basketball court. So why not on the track?

"No bumping," Shaq says.

Shaq ought to stay in Charlotte a while. There's potential here. Let's say that driving works out. Wouldn't you love to see Kyle Busch angrily drive to Shaq's hauler and try to intimidate him after a race?

And if driving doesn't work, Shaq could return to football. There's a flag league that plays at the Siskey YMCA. "Shaq Vs" Steve Smith.

No bumping.